I hate your face
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
