Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
