U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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