do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
