The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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