Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
