if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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