he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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