So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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