Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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