Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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