well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
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Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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