Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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