Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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