My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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