we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
