I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
