it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.