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I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
they're like a gay fantastic four
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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