david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once