have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life