I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.