Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
BRING THE BAGELS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*