Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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