well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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