And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Every concussion has its silver lining
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
