am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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