She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
