I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
