then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's great music for shaving your balls
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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