Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
