wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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