Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
