I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
