No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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