"it" just moved
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
