Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
