Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
