Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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