I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
