oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
