Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
