You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
