and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize