I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
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