im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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