who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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