You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
