counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
