Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
