Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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