Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
