you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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