STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
