Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
More tranny stories later!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
