Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
