I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
