ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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