Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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