Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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