dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.