Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
