So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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