how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
